Although in retrospect, it was a very gradual process, the feeling was that it happened very suddenly.
I will try to recall the events that preceded, to attempt to pinpoint the triggering factors.
That day, September 07th 2019, I was on a bus travelling from Belgium to Monaco to meet my mother after a year of not seeing her.
It took a lot of energy to get myself out of my apartment in Herent and all the way to Brussels north station to catch that bus. The issue was not the distance nor the very early time of the day but rather my bleeding heart.
I was deeply in love with someone, and they had gloriously broken me to pieces.
They weren’t bad about it, and that is the hardest part. It was just that, after months of dating, the more I let her in, the less she wanted to stay.
Her “heart was somewhere else” she said.
I wished she had realized that before she cried weeks ago begging me to be only hers. I wish she could have been conscious of her heart’s location before she showed me how perfectly my body fits in hers, how good it was to walk in her arms and how safe it was to let my walls down.
She had spent the night over last night to see me off and for us both to have some closure. In the morning, she walked me to the train station.
When I got on the bus, I had realized that I forgot my passport.
What’s the big deal, you might think? Being an Arab, with only a residence card, travelling outside the SHENGEN area with FLIXBUS.
They have a no tolerance policy for travelling without passport….
I had no choice but stay on that bus. The only other possibility was to miss the travel. I had not seen my mother in long and that was the only opportunity we could meet, I was willing to take that risk. Something within me was reassuring me that it was all going to be okay.
I decided to take my time on the bus to meditate. With so many events happening so fast in my life, I needed to space to look for clarity.
I was reflecting on the nature of reality as we experience it. My passion about the particular subject had led me to look for answers to this question everywhere from quantum science to religion and spirituality.
What I carried with me from all the research at this point is that reality was an infinity of parallel universes all happening at the same time and that we shift between them, mostly subconsciously.
As I was trying to meditate, something strange and unprecedented happened to me. Out of nowhere, I was sent out of my body and into this transcendental state. It did not feel like the usual state of trance I usually reach when meditating. I was taken to a dark room in my head, saw myself walking naked in it. There was an entity in that room, it had no shape nor form, it was simply a presence. When I felt it, I had the impression of remembering, that it is who I am.
The being spoke to me in a telepathic way. It had asked me what was it that I wanted. I childishly burst into an avalanche of questions about where I was and how I ended up here. It ignored my inquiries and simply repeated its previous question. So I answered that What I wanted at that moment is to get to my mother & to get my lover back.
It explained to me that whatever reality I am experiencing, is one I subconsciously choose at every now moment. If I want another one, I should simply consciously shift towards it. That there exists another reality where my partner is mine and that I could just move there. And there exists a reality where I do get to my mother in the following day, and I can choose that one.
As it was explaining this to me, a water pot appeared and you could see in it all the realities that it was talking about, running in parallel lines. It was all too intense, so I snapped out of that state and was back on the bus. But I noticed an emotional shift. I no longer felt any grief, I was ecstatic, and I just KNEW in my core that I was the manifester of my reality and that I could take back the conscious control on it. It was a new yet a deeply rooted belief. More like a remembering. Remembering that “I am an immortal being”, “I am pure consciousness”, “all that exists is the NOW”.
I went into the trance state but this time willingly. I met the entity and together we chose to go to the reality where me not having a passport was not a problem.
I would focus on the reality I wanted until it cam forward in the water pot, I could see clearly the moment where I met my mother. and when that reality became vivid the entity would ask me to enter in it.
What just happened left me with a strange impression and many questions running through my head. Is it real? Is it just my imagination? Would it even be called imagination at this point? Am I delusional?
We passed by 5 checkpoints that trip. There was more than one time were the person right in front of me was being checked and the moment it is my turn, something would come up and they would drop it!
What was strange, was that I had no doubt as I was seeing the policeman walking towards me, that I could control this.I reached Monaco and met my mother.
On the bus back, I was in a constant meditative state. Full of love for everything and everyone. I felt as if I was floating through existence. Things would manifest as soon as I set intention on them. It was pure bliss and total connection to the divine.
Life was never the same after that.
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